before you wreck yourself

Date a girl who can name five types of cheese off the top of her head. Date a girl who knows cheese like she knows her own soul.  She passes up appetizers and heads straight for the cheese platters.  Date a girl who knows cheese because she will always throw the best parties.  She’ll pour you a glass of sweet red wine and slice you the perfect length of aged gruyere.  Expertly, she will top off her piece with a fresh tart raspberry.  She will look blissful as she eats.

Date a girl who can name five types of cheese off the top of her head because she is full of passion.  She’s the girl who knows what she likes and isn’t ashamed to ask for a larger wheel of parmesan.  Sometimes, she stays up late eating cheese.  It’s a ritual she honors, because she knows in her heart the importance of cheese after a long, tiring day.

Then, one cold morning at 3am, you might find her alone in her living room, tears running down her soft cheek; she is unwrapping the last Laughing Cow wedge she could find in her fridge.  There are too many crackers and not enough cheese.  It is life’s greatest tragedy, and she feels it more deeply than any other girl.

You’ll hold her, and you’ll tell her it’s all right.  Tomorrow, you’ll buy her more cheese, because cheese is fucking delicious.


  1. pleasedonttouchthat reblogged this from ellethepalindrome
  2. ellethepalindrome reblogged this from thatshelladick
  3. lajosliveslies reblogged this from trinketsandwhores and added:
    This. Except I’m the girl. Hold me, and give me cheese.
  4. circadianarrhythmia reblogged this from oxfordcommaforever
  5. nicewarmbed reblogged this from thatshelladick
  6. otar-the-mad reblogged this from capra-kun and added:
    holy shit i didnt even think when i reblogged that too. I literally have the perfect girlfriend hahahahah
  7. capra-kun reblogged this from otar-the-mad and added:
    i’m from wisconsin. i know cheese, muthafucka
  8. meghanic reblogged this from raisha
  9. race-to-candy-mountain reblogged this from clash-at-demonhead
  10. clash-at-demonhead reblogged this from thatshelladick
  11. thatshelladick reblogged this from trekyourself
  12. daretobeunsatisfied reblogged this from compotator
  13. thirdheat reblogged this from sheercalculatedsilliness
  14. raisha reblogged this from bonewhiteglory
  15. flickeringice reblogged this from caralarm-bicycles
  16. godslonelywoman reblogged this from monis-magical-archive
  17. parodies-and-disparities reblogged this from johannesvandergraaff
  18. atomicyawn reblogged this from trekyourself
  19. compotator reblogged this from johannesvandergraaff
  20. perpetuallyturtle reblogged this from bonewhiteglory
  21. hsym reblogged this from lacktoastandtolerant
  22. lacktoastandtolerant reblogged this from two-smoking--barrels
  23. trekyourself posted this